The other day I was watching Sex and the City (it’s what happens when you have a sleeping toddler and house to yourself) and it was the one about “Coulda, Woulda. Shoulda and it got me thinking how I’ve been “shoulding” myself a lot lately. I’ve been home with Keely now for over a month. I was asked the other day, was it by choice? And honestly, I didn’t know how to answer it. Do I answer it with “well, my old company didn’t need me anymore” or “well, yes, it was my decision to be home with my daughter.” Actually it’s a little bit of both. My old job didn’t need my services anymore so I’ve been looking for a job in the time being but would love to spend everyday with my little munchkin.
Do I want to go back to the 40 hours a week (plus) in the office and never see Keely, NO! I would love that perfect job…part time in the office, part time at home or full time at home. Yes, I would have child care for Miss K but at least I’d see her when she gets up & be able to have breakfast and lunch with her which I enjoy doing now that I am home. I’ve been doing a lot of phone interviews and in-person interviews but nothing has really made me jump for joy. I want to make my next career move a good one and one that I am at for many years.
I have a hard time letting go of not being able to provide for Keely but Bob is doing a great job providing for us. I liked being able to go out and shop with “my money” whenever I wanted too. I loved being able to buy Keely lots of things and go to different places. Now we must live within our means which we are lucky because we are still able to do a lot of things. Bob was so nice and surprised me with a little shopping because he knows I’ve been down lately.
I mentioned to him the other day, how I “should’ve” stayed at the place I was at back in April but I was faced with a career move that I thought would be good for me and my family to only find myself totally mislead. I then had to ask my old boss for my job back and they brought me on as a contractor but for only 3 months. I thought they would def sign on for another year but that wasn’t the case. All I did the month of August was keep saying, “I could’ve done this or I would’ve done that or I should’ve just said no.”
Now over a month from being jobless (well, actually I have the best job in the world…being a MOM) and I am starting to realize everything happens for a reason and I wouldn’t trade being home with Keely for anything. She lights up my day and I love that she is attached to me. My mom is one of my best friends and I hope in the future Keely will say the same about me. So for now, I’m saying goodbye to the “Coulda, Woulda, Shoulda.”
Quote of the Day
What are you “shoulding” yourself about lately?